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Our bartender presented her with another complimentary White Russian as his sacrifice to the Gods of Wishful Thinking. A few moments later, our generous drink master returned with three tall White Russians. Still waters run deep, and it didn't end well. " "A twofer is the first and last time something happens. Why the fuck would I want to be named after a stagnant pond?

"One is for you and the other two are honor guards for the dead soldiers," he pointed to the two empty glasses. "Okay Dennis, that was a twofer," the book she was reading sailed across the room, missing my head by less than an inch. " Her smile was a weird combo of mischief and annoyance. Everyone needs a hobby and sex was her diversion from work.

Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is too weird for words and 100% purely coincidental.

Chapter 1 I stuffed my last cardboard box of personal belongings into the cargo hold of my girlfriend's Toyota Rav4, jumped into the passenger seat, and waited while she fussed over a map with directions to our new home. She flipped her shoulder length hair out of her eyes for the umpteenth time and squinted to read the tiny print. " She put the Rav into drive, and we started on our way. Darlene was a smart, feisty little brown-haired woman, just under five feet five inches tall, with small breasts, shoulder length hair, and a freckled baby face. We met at a local tavern where we developed an unlikely May-December relationship.

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"That was our last best lead, we're screwed," Darlene slumped in her chair. Darlene's posture suddenly changed as she sat upright in her chair as the corner of her mouth turned upwards, and a smile lit up her eyes. "What kinda random question is this and where is it going?

She sparkled like a diamond in a coal bin and scared the shit out of the men she approached. As Darlene studied me, her dark look of frustration gradually brightened, and her eyes sparkled as her grim expression transformed into the predatory smile of a fox. I answered by placing my hand on her knee and mirrored her journey of exploration. Neither of us cared to invest the necessary time to search for the perfect partner, so we settled for close enough for right now.

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Mapmakers tended to hide the most critical information in the smallest print known to man. Darlene and I moved in together to save money when my landlord evicted me from my apartment for nonpayment of rent. She played the part of May at the youthful age of 35 years.

I fulfilled the role of December at the tender age of 67.

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